I, owner of the undersigned email address, hereby accept the amount of one point eight (1.8) billion dollars as my prize in the "sign up for the Muskets! newsletter" competition, and all state and federal taxes pursuant thereto.

By entering my email address and joining said mailing list, I recognize that my face may very well be rocked off, and release Those Aren't Muskets! and their subsidiaries from all liability and obligation of payment.

Are you sick of your skin freezing at night and burning during the day? Tired of staring at everyone's red, raw nipples all the time? Isn't it about time someone invented something that allowed you to cover your filthy body?

Well, someone did, and that person is the Muskets! Merch Shoppe! Not only will our shirts cover your shame from the sight of God, they'll place large, colorful designs on your chest area to warn other humans that you are dangerous, and to be avoided.

If you've got a favorite sketch, chances are we've got a shirt, cap, pin or thong with some line or something plastered all over it. And unlike other shirt stores, by buying Muskets! Merch, you're directly supporting struggling artists, rather than a faceless conglomerate.

Although Cafe Press does get roughly eighty-five percent of the proceeds. And we usually spend the rest on California burritos and Stoli. I'm going to wrap this up while there's still some interest. Rummage through our virtual chiffarobe!