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Michael Swaim was just a cub reporter for The Superficial, scouting celebrity travel routes and photoshopping herpes onto young starlets, when a naÔve attempt to photograph the Jolie-Pitt children led to his being crushed in an industrial press.

But within his broken body, the spark of life lingered. And the editorial board of an up-and-coming comedy website seized the opportunity. After bartering with The Superficial for Swaim's body (legend has it they paid eighteen dollars and some glass beads), the engineers got to work.

They knew they could fix him. Make him more sedentary. Shallower. More of a wiseacre. It cost them nearly four hundred dollars and most of a night's work, but by morning they had done it. S.W.A.I.M., the world's first android web talk show host, was a mad fantasy no more.

Some hosts are born. Some are made. See if you can decipher which is the case over at the S.W.A.I.M. video gallery. Shout the correct answer at the screen and money will come out of your printer!