Are you sick of your skin freezing at night and burning during the day? Tired of staring at everyone's red, raw nipples all the time? Isn't it about time someone invented something that allowed you to cover your filthy body?
Well, someone did, and that person is the Muskets! Merch Shoppe! Not only will our shirts cover your shame from the sight of God, they'll place large, colorful designs on your chest area to warn other humans that you are dangerous, and to be avoided.
If you've got a favorite sketch, chances are we've got a shirt, cap, pin or thong with some line or something plastered all over it. And unlike other shirt stores, by buying Muskets! Merch, you're directly supporting struggling artists, rather than a faceless conglomerate.
Although Cafe Press does get roughly eighty-five percent of the proceeds. And we usually spend the rest on California burritos and Stoli. I'm going to wrap this up while there's still some interest. Rummage through our virtual chiffarobe!
In Hollywood, you make it by doing what's known as "networking." After a lot of trial and error, we've discovered what networking is NOT: It's not yelling that you're mad as hell and you're not going to take it any more, it's not offering indiscriminate blowjobs to people in suits, and it's certainly not premeditated murder (I'm not even sure what we were thinking on that one).
So now we're trying to network the only way we know how. Namely, by pointing you in the direction of some of our favorite sketch troupes in the hopes that when they strike it big they'll let us bang their spillover babes. Here's to you, gents!Fatal Farm: These guys make our wildest dreams look like perfectly manageable post-production effects. Prepare to be amazed and awesomely bewildered by a series of epic sketch projects that function entirely within a universe of their own devising.
BriTANick: Sharp, fresh, young, and handsome as the dickens. What's not to love? Also, in case you were wondering, we think it rhymes with "Titanic." You know, that movie they clearly want to be associated with.
Scott Gairdner: One man. One mission. Some other people as well, although admittedly they get less credit. One awesome website chock full of great sketches and some hilarious side projects.
There, we're all good and networked. Do we get a movie deal now? Anyone?