For months, our all-volunteer team of designers have been hard at work whipping child laborers in order to produce garments bearing the Muskets! logo for the official Muskets! Merch Shoppe!
Each shirt is painstakingly hand-sewn by a tiny Korean boy named Tao whose hands are fused into claws from years of fine manual labor. Then they are hand-painted to exacting specifications by Jeff, a big guy who we were going to fire for drinking on the job, but then he showed up with some of his buddies and they seemed pretty raw. Jeff tells us that the designs are excellent.
I'd tell you where the pins and hats come from, but the number of bodily fluids involved might be too much for our younger readers. Suffice to say, there's a little bit of us in each and every item.
Be it a scary Batman, a happy pimp, an 8-bit frog, or the sentence "I have poisoned the tea," our shirts will serve all your comedy and poison informing needs. Please, don't let Tao's work be in vain.
Production shortfalls come out of his daily rice ration, and he's looking sickly as it is. For all our sakes, check out the shop today!
In case you're looking for some solid comedy to jazz up a lagging party, brighten an otherwise miserable existence, or just wile away a rainy afternoon, we've taken the liberty of watching a shitload of TV and synthesizing the finest in programming through a precise method known as "our opinions." In other words, here's some funny stuff that we think you may like and, more importantly for our indie cred, may not have heard of yet:Peep Show - The worst friends ever live in the same flat. They so happen to be the kings of awkward comedy.
That Mitchell and Webb Look - The same guys have a sketch show that is better than we are.
Spaced - The people who brought you Shaun of the Dead in their first original series.
Stella - Ditto, but from the guys who brought you Wet Hot American Summer.
Mr. Show - Probably the best iteration of the "fluid sketch comedy" idea. Try it; you'll like it.
Home Movies - Adult Swim's forgotten gem.
Clerks: The Animated Series - There's only six episodes, but they're all better than Clerks II.
Superjail! - Drugs, violence, cartoons and other great things as well. Tex Avery reborn.
The Venture Bros. - The best designers in the business. All dressed up as Johnny Quest, golly!
Once you've watched all those, get back to us and we'll move on to books, comics, movies and video games. Maybe one day we can be the SAME PERSON!