Those Aren't Muskets! is an ambitious young comedy troupe with nothing to lose and everything to prove. They formed in 2007, when two non-consecutive Editors-in-Chief of The MQ (UCSD's premiere satire publication) decided to live together and be creative full time. Since then, they've gotten their work featured on the front pages of Cracked, Funny or Die, Veoh, Revver, Youtube, Crackle, Break, and College Humor. Thanks to these achievements, two foxy chicks have moved in with them. Their new lives are just as staggeringly awesome as you imagine. See above picture as evidence of this. No wait, not this picture, the one with all the chicks. Oh well, you can imagine.
Michael is head writer for Those Aren't Muskets, and performs in sketches regularly. He's a graduate of the UC San Diego department of theatre, a degree he is maliciously squandering by making stupid internet videos. He also contributes regularly to Cracked (the humor site, not the crack site) as a member of their group blog. He's had pieces appear on the web at McSweeney's and Yankee Pot Roast, and has two short stories being published in the physical world via upcoming issues of Tales of the Talisman and Aiofe's Kiss science fiction magazines. He dreams of one day becoming a real boy.
Abe is the videographer for Those Aren't Muskets, only showing up on camera to find the stuff that Mike steals from him. He graduated in Digital Arts at UCSD in pursuit of the loftiest aim of any filmmaker: to revolutionize the presidential campaign video. And it's not that your guys' relationship is over, he just feels you could have been a little more sensitive to his needs.
Brett is neither a head writer nor a cinematographer, yet he tells both how to do their jobs. When not Monday Morning Quarterbacking Those Aren't Muskets!, Brett attends UC San Diego studying theatre and performs improv with the National Comedy Theatre in San Diego as well as FOOSH and The Sherman & Manchewitz Investitures Corporation, UCSD's best and only improvisational comedy and sketch comedy troupes, respectively. When not being funny, Brett spends his time sleeping or writing ego-centric, meta-referential biographies.
Ryan is an actor, stagehand and marketing guru for TAM! He is an ambidextrous Irish-Mexican with a History degree from UCSD. If you enjoy Kibbles and Bits and/or John Steinbeck, feel free to thank Ryan, as his ancestors laid the foundation for both the dog food and characters of Cannery Row. Sadly, the evil and diabolical Brian Cricketts often attempts to smear Ryan’s wholesome name. From 1997-2002, Ryan was a hair model at the Barbazon School of Modeling. His hair was considered the "Citizen Kane" of his generation.
Lara attempts acting for Those Aren't Muskets because she has nothing better to do after work. She received her bachelor's degree in Neuroscience from UCSD and currently works at The Neurosciences Institute where she performs brain surgery on rats and injects them with horrible viruses. And that's not even her job. She starts medical school August 2008. Although she will one day get married, she has no plans to change her name, so be prepared for the ministrations of Dr. Pickle.
Brian, also known as "The Talent" or simply "hey, meat!" is a sometimes featured and often shirtless actor for Those Aren't Muskets! A recent graduate of UC San Diego, Brian plans to put his theatre and comparative politics degrees to work in Los Angeles by appearing in Valtrex commercials. He fervently hopes that TAM! will catapult him to the heights of stardom enjoyed only by John Basedow and Michael Dorn. He never jokes about baseball.
Those Aren't Muskets has included performances by: Dav Yendler, Heather Pauley, Neil Parker, Nathan Turner, Matt Barrs, Ryan Severance, James Bak, Geoff Lapid, Jon Mikulanis, Sam Hunter, Amy Funder, Kelly Lockwood-Larson, Katie Willert, Baily Hopkins, Giovanni Velasco, Dan Rubiano, Matt Black, Brentan Schellenbach, Brian O'Donovan, Spencer Howard, Dan Shapiro, Sarah Kapp, Ellen Swaim, Matt Yonker, Gregory Moody, Caitlin Kennedy, Margaret Gray, Samantha Griffith, David Chien, Andrea del Rio, Cheetah Platt, David Swaim, Jonathan Hicken, Megan Petersdorf, Gary Porter, James Barker, Matt Bovee, Lee Montgomery, Erin Bennett, Ian Dickinson.
